Slowing down comes naturally when you are pregnant – physically I mean.
Especially the walking. Did it take me around 15 minutes to walk from the Metro to my house before the pregnancy, now it takes me already half an hour: 15 minutes more to lose oneself in so called nonsense thoughts.
I also start dragging my feet, almost in slow motion, and take regular pauses as if I have to recharge in the sun. A bit like an iguana crossing a road –
What a tremendous effort!
While I walk, I regularly think: Ah I see, being old must thus feel like this – or – being obese must feel like this (especially when a pebble gets into my shoe and I cannot reach it, because of my belly).
Of course these comparisons are wrong. Being old must be more of a completely immobilizing feeling – perhaps a mixture of muscle pain, rattling bones and being pregnant? And when you’re obese, an extra layer is equally distributed over your whole body.
But what does it feel like then? I wonder dragging my feet homewards.
And while I pause for a few seconds to recharge, I suddenly know:
It feels like being a hard boiled egg on legs.
Yes, yes, that might actually come quite close.
Relieved I walk on: If ever eggs get legs and start walking, I will know exactly how they feel.
Mentally on the other hand everything races on as usual when you are pregnant.
Slowing down in this field will only come after the birth, I remember (vaguely, since it has been a while). Then the baby will need my complete attention.
The first type of thoughts that will be on my to-cancel-from-my-mind list after the birth will be the nonsense thoughts (to which this website and a huge part of my day is dedicated). The second type will be the in-the-future-I-will thoughts… Actually it might become a very long list! In reality one may just as well cancel all types of thoughts and activities one usually has or does, except thinking about and taking care of the baby.
I cannot wait…
to exchange the walking like an egg for thinking – I imagine – like an egg: One line of merry thoughts circling around a baby.
It must be such a liberation … for a while.
(1) By 0x010C [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons, url
(2) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons, url
(3) Viktor Hartmann [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons, url,
(4) Godefroy Durand [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons,url
(5) Ida Waugh (d. 1919) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons, url
(6) William Wallace Denslow [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons, url